sweet oblivion
by Alex765
Summary: I shouldn't have asked , I knew that the moment I spoke the words , while I stood there in the darkness under the heavy rain , I hoped with all my might that it would conceal the rapidly growing hope on my face when he whispered " as you wish " before ... a girl falls into middle earth but a little bit different .
1. Chapter 1

**disclaimer** : I own nothing from lotr , it all belongs to Tolkien .This is my first fan fic please R&R , I accept all opinions so , tell me what you really think and what my story needs , I've seen the movies and read part of the books so , I know that there is a difference between them . This is not a 10th walker , also keep in mind that English is my second language , which means I might make some mistakes and I don't mind you pointing them out .

* * *

**Strange meetings**

* * *

_" my soul will find yours "_

_Jude Deveraux , A knight in shining armor ._

It all started the day I woke up in the middle of a burning city with the sound of screaming , and my face planted to the ground . I felt someone shaking me , instantly something felt wrong I am supposed to wake up to the sound of my alarm in my bed or , my aunt saying _"Fanny , sweety you're late again"_ , not in the middle of a burning city .

At that moment I could feel panic creeping down at me but instead of surrendering to it I ignored it , there must be some kind of an explanation to this I might be dreaming so , I pinched my arm and I felt the pain .

"what the … ?"

The shaking kept going and this time it was accompanied with the voice of someone speaking in a beautiful musical language , that I could not recognize but I could swear I heard it somewhere .

I lifted my head to peer at the speaker , and suddenly I could not breathe there are no words to describe the beauty and perfection of such a creature . he could not be human , I realized that the moment our eyes met my brown plain ones with his clear silver blue ones that looked as if they were shining , there is so much wisdom and power in those eyes , his long golden hair was loosening from a complicated braid and some dirt was marring his left cheek but could never effect his inhuman perfection , he broke the stare at the sound of something I could not hear but after a moment I heard the sound , it was terrifying like a scream of a wild animal that froze me with fear .

The stranger looked back at me , this time he said something that seemed urgent like time was running out and he was telling me something important .I snapped out of my trance and tried to get my legs on the ground and almost failed if not for the hands that held me , my only thought was _I need to run something is coming ._

The stranger said something but when he saw the confusion on my face he pushed me gently pointing to a spot behind a falling wall next to a corner that once belonged to a magnificent house that was thirty feet away , he did not need to say more I ran to the spot and hid behind the wall , I could feel the ground shaking and tears were streaming down my face and my hands kept shaking as I clamped them on my mouth to keep myself from going into hysterics .

the sound got louder and louder until I could feel it close by . I peered from my hiding place , I could see the sky darkening with grey clouds and the sweet smell of rain was filling the air. From the corner of my eye I caught a movement , as a cloud of black smoke was filling the falling city and I could see the golden haired stranger picking up his abandoned … _sword_ ? .

No one uses swords any more _where the hell am I ? _. _could this be some kind of a cosplay ? _but something in my gut told me this was real , no human no matter how beautiful could poses such appearance , we have flaws and in some ways our flaws complement us , they make us human , they make us … who we are .

The golden haired stranger held his sword and stood his ground , waiting for his opponent which I guess is the thing with the horrifying voice , I could feel my heart beating so hard against my chest and a feeling of dread taking a hold of my entire body .

From the black smoke , I could see a figure that stood as tall as two men with a mane of fire the … _thing _or_ monster_ for lack of a better word to describe it , was simply evil you could feel it emitting from its presence .

I was desperately scrambling to get a hold on my thoughts and the fear that was about to slip from my hold and send me screaming from my hiding place and running until I could no longer run , I have never felt such a fear in my twenty-two year old life _am I going to die ? _kept repeating itself like a mantra in my head , while my sweaty palms held tighter against my mouth to keep the sound of my harsh breathing and breaking nerves somehow under control .

The golden haired stranger never wavered , and took off running with graceful and fluid movement in the direction of the monster , while a battle cry found its way through his lips , raising his curved sword with a promise of death .

The monster lifted his right hand which held a whip of some sort , the whip was burning with fire and the monster roared as the golden haired stranger crept closer only to have the whip lashed out at him with a speed that was too fast for my eyes to catch , the whip hit the golden haired stranger in his mid section and I could hear a cry of pain this time , but he didn't fall .

from my hiding place I could see he was in unbearable pain , the whip ripped through his mid section leaving it a mess that was nearly impossible to fix or heal , he was losing too much blood , soon he will be dead and the fact of seeing someone die in front of my own eyes , without doing something made me feel like a coward and it left a bitter taste in my mouth .

In that moment I had this crazy notion that I could somehow save him without getting caught by the monster or maybe getting the attention of the monster , so the golden haired stranger would have an opening . all I had to rely on was dumb luck , because I knew very well that I could not fight , for god's sake I spend my Friday nights with my aunt watching movies or ordering pizza , _I know I run the life of a rock star_ .

So , I did what seems to be the most idiotic thing in the history of my short life , I got up from my hiding place with shaking legs from fear . I could hear a voice in my head screaming_ you idiot you'll die _well , I hope not .

So , I gathered what little courage I had and screamed at the top my lungs " HEY YOU … YEAH YOU … OVER HERE "

" this might not be the best idea " the last part was whispered to myself as the monster was turning to face me forgetting about its opponent .

I could see shock and panic taking over the pale face of the golden haired stranger , _he's dying _but he composed himself as the monster was heading to me , breathing fire from its nostrils and waving his whip of fire but , before the monster could even lay a hand on me the golden haired stranger pierced it through the heart with his sword .

The monster stopped its advancing on me and swayed as if he was in a drunken haze before it fell to the ground with a loud thud , the sword still planted in its heart . Now , I could see the stranger moving away from his fallen opponent, the fight leaving his body , his movement is slow and his step faltering from the loss of blood , not as graceful and fluent as before .

he walked a few paces in my direction , while his hands found their way to his mid section in a last attempt to stop the bleeding _its too late_ , by this point he could barely walk and he fell to his knees half way to where I stood , I shook the remains of the fear that rooted me to my spot and I took off running with a sudden surge of hope _maybe its not too late_ .

as I reached him I could see his face contracting in pain , and the front of his pale blue tunic that must have been beautiful once but not anymore , as the blood painted most of the front like an unfinished Claude Monet painting .

I held him by the shoulder and pushed him down to the grass gently , making sure to make it as painless as possible , he is already in too much pain I know he will not survive , there is no doctor in here and even if by some miracle there was one , the damage is too much and the equipments required to treat such a wound are not available .

This is clearly not my world . they use swords , they have monsters , the buildings in this place are very different they seem to blend in with nature rather than conquer it so , that means there is no way in hell I could find a hospital , as I look around for someone to ask for help all I could see are the bodies of dead people , people that look as devastatingly beautiful as the stranger , their eyes are wide open and unseeing _it's a battle field_ , I could feel panic trying to get a hold on my senses but I push it down as soon as I hear the pained noise from the lips of the stranger , he's coughing blood , I try to hold him as still as possible without harming him , while my tears find their way to me again and a whimper escapes from my throat before a whole stream escapes from my eyes .

" I'm sorry , I don't know what do "

At the sound of my voice his eyes meet mine and I feel guilt for not being able to stop the pain , he doesn't reply only tries to sit up but stopping half way through as the pain makes its presence known , so he settles down for this half sitting half lying position , while one of his hands barely supports him from lying on his back again .

On instinct , I pull him from his awkward position and lay his head in my lap , he doesn't fight or protest , I don't think he has the strength to do so .

I am still crying I never saw a dying person before my own eyes , I remove the golden silky strands that fell on his face in the process of moving him , as my hand settles against his beating heart one of my tears falls on his cheek and his right hand comes up to the place where my tear fell , while his blue silver eyes find mine for the third time , but we don't break the stare I could see that he has realized that he was dying , that he is closer to death with every breath .

" il n'uma ta edan , tela rato faarea "_ (do not weep human , the pain will end soon enough )_

He said those words in that beautiful musical language , with such tenderness as if he knew that I am a stranger to this world , while a soft smile began to draw its way to his lips , which have been stained with blood from his earlier coughing .

I return his smile with one of those smiles , the ones used to say goodbye , that happen to be filled with pain for not having more time and happiness for meeting the person , but in your heart you know there is no way to prevent the parting , that fate will have its way whether you like it or not . I can see the light leaving his eyes , and his face relaxing from his previous smile .

" no , no , no , no please … please hold on , this can't be happening "

But , my pleading words fell to deaf ears , I could no longer feel the beating of his heart under my hand , so my hand leaves its place against his heart and comes up to his shoulder as the other one lifts his golden head , and I shake him again and again while a voice in my head whispers _he's dead _.

The sky is completely filled with dark clouds now , I feel the first drops of rain and I hear thunder as I cradle the golden haired stranger trying to shelter him from the heavy rain , my hair and clothes are soaked with it and my silent tears have turned into full sobs by now .

I could feel a hand on my shoulder and hear a soft voice speaking in that language , but my mind is elsewhere . the owner of the voice tries to remove my clutched hands , in the beginning I fight him but in the end my hands leave the dead body of the stranger , and I sit back from my hunched position of when I held him and look at the newcomer as he identifies the body , pain and hurt find their way to his face _he knows him_ I could see it .The newcomer turns to me as my sobs quite down and I hiccup to catch my breath .

" manke ier lle nosse arwen ? edan il sinome "_( where is your kin my lady ? a human should not be here ) _

As he sees the confusion he speaks again in another language repeating what seems to be a question, but the new language is harsher and not musical , which only leads to more confusion so , he stops and sighs as if he's frustrated with me .

As he gets up to call someone , I could see the end of a pointed ear escaping the curtain of his dark hair and I gasp and turn my eyes to the dead stranger and discover that he also has pointed ears ._ how could I have missed them?_ _well, maybe because he was dying !_ replies my logic .

_Could it be a birth defect ? no way I am sure they're not human _, it doesn't take a genius to know you can feel it , they're different .

The rain is increasing and the ground is slippery now and I'm shivering from the cold as I scramble to my feet , but as soon as I think that I got on some firm ground , I slip and fall face first _great_ but what meets my face is not the muddy ground , it's the wooden floor of my room , _what the hell ?_ . I could hear my aunt Lisa in the next room getting ready for the day , she is an English teacher in a close elementary school .

" Fanny , are you up ? " she asks .

I'm still on the wooden ground shocked and drenched with rain , but I get myself to answer her .

" yeah , I just woke up , I am going to take a shower I'll be ready in fifteen minutes "

"ok , see you tonight . don't forget to lock the door after you leave "

The last words were said as she was walking down the stairs .

* * *

By now I was out of my shock , I got up and headed for the shower immersing myself in my daily routine and ignoring what happened a few minutes ago , _I'll think about it tonight , not now_ .

as I remove my light green shirt I could see some blood covering the front , _it's his blood _and my vision starts to go blurry but I don't let the tears fall , so I throw the shirt to the ground and get out of my muddy jeans , after I am out of my clothes I take a long shower , and a fifteen minute shower turns into a half hour .

After I finish my shower , I get dressed in a simple dark blue shirt and some jeans and brush my shoulder length brown hair , before tying it in a pony tail . I look into the mirror to see my work , my eyes are puffy from crying other than that , I look the same as my 5'6 plain self .When I get downstairs I eat some cheerios with milk , before heading to my job , and I make sure to lock the door and throw the bloody shirt .

I work in a small bookstore that is a twenty minute drive away , I love my job yes it might not be the greatest but I love it , I took the job after taking some courses in the community college .

I've been living with my aunt since I was six years old , after the death of my mother in a car accident she took care of me , I never knew my father he left when my mother was still pregnant with me , yes there were times when I wondered what it would be like to have him in my life , but I dismissed the idea since my aunt made sure I was loved and supported .

When I get to the bookstore and open it to start the day , I get lost in my job and forget for a while what happened , putting my attention to the customers .

I close the bookstore by eight-thirty , and I head down to my home , in four weeks I'll be moving out to my own place and my aunt will be selling the house by the end of the year after she gets married to her fiancé Ben , he works as a lawyer in some company and he's really funny , he's one of those people that you can't help but like, and he makes my aunt smile like a kid in the middle of a candy shop .

By the time I get home my aunt has finished preparing our dinner , we eat while she tells me about her day , and I tell her about some customer asking about a book by Jane Eyre which makes her laugh , a few minutes later Ben joins us . I help her with the dishes before going to sleep , my day was exhausting but enjoyable none the less , last night I got busy reading a book , which ended up with me falling asleep in my jeans and t-shirt without realizing it .

After I brush my teeth and change into some comfortable shirt and some sweatpants , I lay in my bed thinking about what happened today . _it was real_ , the golden haired stranger with his pointy ears I could still feel the beat of his dying heart under my palm , at that moment everything comes back and I tie the events , _pointy ears , inhuman beauty , falling city ,a monster with a mane of fire and a whip , golden hair , battle field._

" oh my god … no freaking way , there is no way that I was in Gondolin this morning " I whisper to myself as if it was going to make me sound less insane , but I knew that it was true . I was there , the puffy eyes , the muddy jeans , the bloody shirt .

I read the sillmarillions a few years ago after I finished lord of the rings , I don't remember much but I do remember the fall of Gondolin and that the golden haired stranger is an elf lord named 'Glorfindel' , and the monster with the mane of fire is actually a 'balrog' , _leave it to Tolkien to come up with these names , now that's a talent_ .

Somehow it made me feel better that the strang … I mean Glorfindel will be reborn and that he will reside in Imladris with lord Elrond , and everything will be perfect , _except that some guy was trying to take over the world with his bling bling , WONDERFUL ._

_Impossible _kept playing in my head like a broken recorded , while I tried to find a logical explanation to what happened , in the end I gave up trying to figure it out and I fell asleep hoping with all my heart that what happened this morning won't happen again .

* * *

As the Days went by I found myself forgetting the incident as if it were a bad dream , I convinced myself at some point that it was a dream , a very vivid one , but deep down I knew better.

After two weeks of the incident I fell asleep like any other night , but it won't be I realized that after I woke up on the ground _again_ and scrambling up to my feet to find Glorfindel with his hand mid air , holding a quill pen from the parchment he was writing on , shock and disbelieve written all over his face and he's eyes wide open , neither of us moved or breathed we just stared , as if this was some trick of the light and blinking would make it go away . the room where we currently stood seems to be some kind of a study , I gathered that from the pieces of parchment laying around the dark wooden table . He was the first to break the silence .

" aina' Iluvatar … " ( holy Eru )

" holy fuck … " I don't think my greeting was polite but , I was busy freaking out and wondering how this keeps happening and _why_ .

" ta il mar , saian lumme " _( it cannot be , centuries have passed )_ I didn't get a word of what he was saying and he didn't seem to notice , he was busy trying to comprehend the situation.

" um … hello Lord Glorfindel … again , you're not dying are you ? " I said the last part with worry in my voice , even though I knew he wouldn't understand what I said .

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Thank you for reading .

P.S : the Elvish used in this chapter is not entirely correct .


	2. Chapter 2

**disclaimer :** I own nothing from lotr , it all belongs to tolkien . I'm currently looking for a beta reader , so there won't be any mistakes in the future . until then, bear with me . ;D

* * *

**Introductions**

* * *

_"one sees clearly only with the heart . Anything essential is invisible to the eye "_

_Antoine , the little prince _

The sound of his name seemed to snap him out of his shock , and he puts down his quill pen before he stands to his full height . I never noticed before but he is tall , from the looks of it he's 6 feet 8 inches by my guess which makes him appear intimidating but his eyes betray his appearance for they are child like in the way they shine .

the wind coming from the window ruffles the parchment that lays on the wooden table . However , he doesn't make a move to close it , instead he takes a step in my direction which leads me to take a step back not from fear but from seeing him alive and breathing , I saw him die , I saw him take his last breath . I could feel my throat closing , and I choke down a whimper . In that moment I realize that knowing and seeing are not the same thing .

He looks as if he is pondering something for a moment, I think by now he is well aware that I don't speak Elvish . still , that doesn't stop him .

" sut … " _( how … ) _he trails off as if he wants to ask something but can't , I can see curiosity filling his silver blue eyes .

He looks the same as before , when Gondolin fell I mean , but this time he is not suffering from a loss of blood but he is different I can't point it out , but I know he's different ._ well , death can do that to you especially when you're an elf who is supposed to be immortal ._

I suddenly don't feel comfortable so, I turn around and head for the door _where am I going ? _my logic yells at me but before I reach it , I feel the soft pressure of his hand upon my left shoulder . I didn't hear his footsteps , only the rustle of his white robes that make his golden hair with its silver circlet light up like a shining beacon .

When I turn around to face him , I'm overwhelmed by his inhuman appearance , and I freeze as though time has stopped . His hand leaves my shoulder to remove a fallen strand from my face , as his hand makes contact with my skin my breath hitches and I get lost in his eyes , _get yourself together Fanny_ .

A soft knock on the door breaks the moment and he takes a few steps back , before he gives permission to whoever knocked to come in .The elf who comes in has a dark brown hair and a circlet on his head and he wears dark blue robes , when he sees me his brow furrows and he turns his forest green eyes to Glorfindel and says " ya re ? ar' mani re sinome ? " _( who is she ? and what is she doing here )_ his tone curious and slightly suspicious .

Glorfindel doesn't answer what seems to be a question , only averts his eyes to his abandoned parchment , his face gives nothing other than that he heard the brown haired elf .

" mani ta ? Erestor " _( what is it ? Erestor )_

The elf doesn't look satisfied with the answer but he doesn't argue and says something in a formal tone no longer curious " heru Elrond ten' lle " _( lord Elrond asked for you )_ Glorfindel nods and the brown haired elf turns to leave but not before raising a perfectly arched eyebrow at my appearance , _clearly people don't wear sweatpants in this place_ .

After the dark haired elf left , Glorfindel turned his gaze back to me , but what filled his eyes this time was not disbelieve or curiosity , it was a feeling that I couldn't define . He lifted his hand as if in an invitation , while a polite smile etched his features . I took a step in his direction then hesitated , but I gathered my dying courage and took another step , until I was close enough to take his hand . He nodded his approval before he headed for the door , keeping a careful eye on me .

Walking down the corridors of the house in my socks , I could see paintings of waterfalls and trees while others held a scenery of battles and fallen elves that seem to come to life the more I stared at them , so I busied myself with the hem of my shirt . After a few minutes we were standing in front of a wooden door with carved flowering vines , _this place feels like a museum_ .

Glorfindel knocks on the door and opens it after someone from the inside says something , which I guess is a permission to come in . when we walk in the room that must be another study from the looks of it , the new elf lifts his pure silver eyes from the scroll he was reading , and looks from me to Glorfindel before he says :

" mani sina Glorfindel ? " _(what is this Glorfindel ?)_ in a very calm and calculated tone . _this must be Lord Elrond , it has to be _the circlet that he wears is different , and he has the air of a ruler , I can feel myself getting agitated . After a few very long seconds Glorfindel says :

" amin he "_(I know her )_ his words were said in a tentative tone _, strange_ .

"sut ?" _( how ? )_ says Elrond , or asks I don't really know . It's highly uncomfortable when you're in a room with people talking about you , which you can tell from the glances in your way. Add to that the fact you don't understand a word.

" le eller yassen amin iire , Gondolin re" _( she was there with me , when Gondolin fell )_ his tone sad as if he was remembering something painful .

I gave up trying to figure out what they were saying , but I think Glorfindel is telling Elrond how he met me, because he mentioned Gondolin and Elrond face contorted in confusion before he looked at me then said :

" re edan ta " _( she's human it's impossible )_ his tone indicates that he is stating a simple fact .

" tala amin ra se " _( I'm certain of it )_ said Glorfindel with an air of confidence and certainty .

_That's it_ , I pulled my hand from Glorfindel and went to look at the pile of books laying on another table in the end of the room , next to the open window . Neither of them tried to stop me, _only few more minutes and I'll be home don't panic_ . They kept talking but my attention was on the leather books , I lifted one of them and started looking through it , of course I couldn't read a word but I didn't care , the writing was beautiful so , I settled for examining it . after what seemed like a full hour of endless discussions , and me getting more nervous by the minute . Elrond sighed and nodded , which made Glorfindel grin like a child who convinced his parent to succumb to his demand . He pointed to Elrond and said :

" hir Elrond " _( Lord Elrond )_ _is he introducing us ?_ probably , so I answered with my best happy tone since the reality of this situation seems to remain the same , and the panic of me not getting back home is beginning to find its way to my conscious mind but I smother it , _not now_ .

" I know Lord Glorfindel , this is Lord Elrond padahal , the father of Lady Arwen and the Lords Elladan and Elorhir … " I trailed off when Elrond's face began to look alarmed . which lead him to say something in a tone filled with distrust :

" re a ethir Glorfindel " _( she could be a spy Glorfindel )_ _oh no_ _this is bad , I should have kept my mouth shut_ , _damn _. I don't know what he said but by the looks of it , it's that tone you use when someone did something terribly wrong .

" re il " _( she's not )_ said Glorfindel in a calm tone .

"ar' iile sina sut ?" _( and you know this how ?)_ .

" amin en' he ten' sai an coiasira mellon nin " _( because I dreamed of her for a very long time , my friend )_

Whatever Glorfindel said with that dreamy smile drawing his face in an angelic expression , made Elrond shell shocked . The look on Elrond's face made me wish that I could speak Elvish in that moment more than anything else , just to know what Glorfindel said .

" ier lle ? " _( are you certain ? )_ said Elrond , this time in a cold and a serious tone .

"uma" _( yes )_ .

" sai eithel , san' re sinome amin Aredhel a' tua he , nan' yeste' mani he essa ? " _( very well then , I will call Aredhel to help her but first what is her name ? )_ .

Glorfindel turned to me and said something in another language , the same one that the elf in Gondolin used , when I still didn't understand, he pointed his finger to his chest and said his own name . _ahh he wants to know my name _.

" Fanny " I said with a smile .

"Fanny " he repeated before answering my smile with one of his own . Elrond nodded his approval before he turned back to Glorfindel with a friendly look upon his face and said :

" amin iile ie Glorfindel " _( I will see you at dinner Glorfindel )_ by the end of his words Elrond face turned expressionless . _How do they do that ?_ _thousands of years of experience _says my logic .

Glorfindel bows before he offers me his hand again . I don't know how to courtesy and I don't want to embarrass myself or seem disrespectful , so I incline my head in recognition , that earns me a smile from Elrond before I take Glorfindel's hand and leave the room . As soon as we're far enough , I stop and turn to him and say :

" I need Mithrandir please , this is not how it supposed to go , the last time I was here for only few minutes not a whole hour . what if , what if … " I trail off and the panic I held starts to set in . I could feel my heart beating so hard and I can't breathe , _I'm having a panic attack_ .

Glorfindel hands shake me gently but firmly as to snap me out my panic , and I start to take deep breaths to calm myself . After a few short minutes I manage to get myself under control. when I'm breathing normally again , I look at him and say one word , I know he'll understand what I want :

" Mithrander " he nods and says something , when he sees the confusion again he sighs , giving me a reassuring smile before leading me to a room . the female elf standing next to the door is breathtaking from her black inky hair to her pale yellow dress , she smiles when she sees us before greeting Glorfindel and I , he nods his head and unlocks his hold on me before he turns to leave .

The _elleth_ opens the door and leads me in , by my guess this is a guest room but I'm not sure , when I'm standing in the room I could see the furniture , a king sized bed , a night stand , a long mirror and a chair , carved in the most beautiful designs I've ever seen . _they're really talented when it comes to art _, the elleth whose name I don't know , points to a tub filled with water and says something while inspecting my clothes , I think the bath is for me so I nod and wait for her to leave before I jump in .

First she frowns , and then her frown turns into a smile before she nods and heads for the door of the room , but not before pointing to a dark purple dress with knitted flowers and a pair of slippers on the ground . As I take my bath I contemplate the idea of how I'll go home , by now my aunt must be freaking out . As I finish my bath and try to get into the dress with a few failed attempts before I succeed with a loud _yes_ . the elleth comes back to help me with my hair , doing it in some complicated braids , I try to ask about her name and find out that it's Aredhel

When I'm left alone , I decide to take a walk around the place . This place is like a maze , I swear there're like hundreds of corridors but I keep wandering until I'm in some sort of a garden with a statue of a beautiful Elvish woman , _this must be __Lúthien_ . I wandered around in the garden for a few hours before I reentered the house and kept walking until I found myself in a huge library , I got a few strange looks from the other elves but none of them talked to me or stared , so I ended up sitting in a chair thinking about home , and I lost track of time .

_What if I never go home ? I know I'm in the second or third age , since Imladris was founded in the year 1697of the second age , but what if it takes years to go back home , or my unpredictable disappearing takes me somewhere else ? yes both times I ended up with Glorfindel but if I ended up somewhere else , somewhere like another battle field or worse , in the middle of Mordor no , no , no that's a bad thought . can I be missing something ?_

Someone tapped me on the shoulder and snapped me out of my pessimistic thoughts , I turned around to see Aredhel with her smiling face indicating me to follow her , so I did .

We ended up in the dining hall and I was seated next to some elf , who turned his head to acknowledge my presence , then went back to his conversation with the elf seated next to him . from my sitting place , I could see Glorfindel five seats away , talking with the dark haired elf that knocked on the door when I first arrived here . I had the sudden urge to smack him on the back of the head _this is somehow connected to him , maybe not entirely but it's connected to him ._

I ate my dinner silently without drinking any whine , not while I'm in this mood I'm getting angry by the minute , so as soon as the singing and dancing started I tried to excuse myself but instead , I ended up with Glorfindel trying to drag me to the dance floor with that soft smile on his face , which lead me to feel like a jerk for trying throw the blame on him and I wanted to apologize , but still I declined his offer , I know very well that I can't dance .

" ta coiasira "_( maybe another time )_ said Glorfindel before he called Aredhel to show me the way to my room . I realized that memorizing the passages in this place will take some time , maybe my luck will improve and I won't have to . when I reached my room I changed and got into bed desperately wishing for some answers and I got them , _kind of_ .

* * *

thank you for reading , I hope you liked the chapter and I wish you a good day .


	3. Chapter 3

******disclaimer :** I own nothing from lotr , it all belongs to tolkien . I'm still looking for a beta reader , so there won't be any mistakes in the future . until then, bear with me . ;D

also thank you so much for your support , it made my day .

* * *

**Unwanted answers**

* * *

"_The sweetest smiles hold the darkest secrets..." __  
__- Sara Shepard , Flawless_ .

_I'm in the store buying some food for tonight's dinner, aunt Lisa and I are making lasagna . when I reach the cashier there is a lovely old lady with her grey hair done in a low pony tail and a sweet smile taking over her features , paying for her things and when she's finished , she lifts two bags and tries to leave , I could see that the bags are very heavy so , I offer my help :_

_" excuse me , would you like some help with those ?" I say indicating my head to the bags ._

_" of course dear " she says with that kind smile ._

_We leave the store after I pay for my things , but she doesn't lead me to a car , she leads me to a bench and sits down before she says :_

_" sit down dear we need to speak" ok , that's weird but maybe she's waiting for someone to pick her up and she wants some company until then . _

_" I'm sorry , I really can't . my aunt is waiting for me " I say this with regret , I feel like the grown up who tells the kid he can't have ice cream , except in my situation the roles are reversed and I'm the kid who tells the grown up no . _

_" she's not " simply states the old lady ._

_" yes she is , we're making dinner tonight and I don't want to be late" okay , this is weird I need to leave . _

_"Fanny please sit down , no one is waiting for you it's only a dream " hell no , this is getting out of hand how in the world did she know my name ? ._

_"I haven't told you my name , have we met before ? and how is this a dream ? " _great_ , I can't believe I'm starting to get scared from an old lady ._

_" yes , you haven't told me your name but that doesn't mean I don't know it and no , we haven't met before but I know you far better than you think , I really do hate to repeat myself but this is a dream , now please sit down " said the old lady with a sigh of frustration . _

_" if this is a dream how am I still here ? aren't you supposed to wake up from a dream when you realize it's not real ? you have no proof " I really don't know who is crazier me for arguing , or her for suggesting such a thing . _

_" you haven't woken up because I'm keeping you until we finish our conversation , my proof is really quite simple actually , do you remember how you got to the store ? or where you were before then ? "_

_" yes , I was … I was … " and it hits me . I'm dreaming , I remember falling asleep in Imladris wishing for an explanation of any sort , so this must be it ._

_I finally sit down on the bench next to the old lady whose face still in that sweet smile ._

_" can I ask you anything ? " hope kicks in my chest when she answers but dies as soon as it came ._

_" yes , but it doesn't mean I will answer everything. after all you deserve some form of an explanation but some answers you'll have to find out by yourself , so ask away my dear "_

_Surprisingly the first thing that pops out of my mouth is " you're not human , are you? " which makes her smile grow wider . _

_" no , my dear I'm not . what you see is a form I chose specifically for you . you seem inclined to trust me more in this form " this didn't freak me out , she looks normal and I saw elves and a freaking balrog , I can survive this ._

_" what are you then ?" _

_" something else " still with that sweet smile ._

_Clearly when she doesn't want to answer , she will simply find a way out of it , so I didn't stall , I skipped to my next one ._

_" why does this keep happening ? and will it ever stop ? "_

_" it's what you're meant to do and it might never stop , but you can learn to control it " I think that's good she said _might_ so there is a chance ._

_" does it have anything to do with Glorfindel ? "_

_" yes and no "_

_" can you please be more specific ?"_

_" you could end up anywhere but he's your ... Friend you'll see with time " that's good I guess ._

_" my friend how ?" _

_"that means he'll help you but he can't control it , that is up to you " well , having a new friend is good but still , I just want to go home ._

_" will I ever go home ?" I said the words with a chocked voice dreading her answer ._

_" no , middle earth is your home now" oh god but I don't want to stay in middle earth I want to go home . my aunt Lisa is the only true family I have ever known ._

_" does that mean I'll always be in middle earth with no exception what so ever ? " what she says makes my face grow into a frown of despair ._

_" yes , you might end up in different time periods but not for more than a few minutes or an hour for the most , then you'll get back to your right place ,and you are currently in the right place at the right time . that's why you did not disappear after a few minutes " I can feel my hold on my emotions slipping away from me , my home was just taken away from me , but I hold it in ._

_" and the right time is ? " I need to know this ._

_" you'll find out soon enough " ok , she doesn't want to answer this one so , I skip . _

_" but the first time it happened why did I end up in Gondolin on the day of its fall "_

_" well , that is most unfortunate my dear , it was bound to happen sooner or later the fact of it occurring on the day Gondolin fell is simply bad luck " _I really need to get a four leaf clover _._

_" does that mean I can end up in the future not just the past ?"_

_" yes , but please be careful a few minutes can change many things " that's not good ._

_" does that also mean I can end up in Mordor or in the middle of a battle field again " I really don't want to know the answer , the fear of something like that happening to me is crippling ._

_" yes , it's a possibility but you'll occasionally end up where Glorfindel is "_

_" occasionally ? "_

_" young lady , are you daft ? it means from time to time ; now and then ; irregularly " said the old lady as if she was explaining this to a child who refused to listen ._

_"I know what it means . what I want to know are the chances of me appearing in certain places ? and why where Glorfindel is ?"_

_" you'll end up in any place , at any time but only in middle earth and for the matter of Glorfindel that's is a topic for another time . is it really that difficult to understand ? "_

_" yes , it is . a few weeks ago I thought of elves as mythical creatures , now the possibility that not all things I read about are fictional is affecting my reality , so it is difficult to understand " I tried to keep my tone down and polite as much as possible. _

_" my dear , people choose to see the world the way they want , but that does not change the reality of certain things . think of what you have as a gift " she said that in a comforting tone , looking at me while kindness found its way to her hazel eyes . _

_" A gift how ? it's more like a curse " my words were bitter . I broke my gaze from hers and instead I looked at the sidewalk ._

_" well , you can see it as such or you can see it as a gift , you were given the chance to see the world in all its times and never remain there for too long , you can see the happiest things and the saddest , you can go anywhere . now tell me that is not a form of freedom "_

_I don't say a thing because I know it's true so instead I ask " what about my aunt ? "_

_" do not worry about her , she will be happy and she will marry Ben ; they will have two children a boy and a girl the girl will be named after you , your aunt will never forget you " this makes my eyes water , mostly from happiness . the fact that my aunt will be happy gives me some strength ._

_" how do you know this ? " I ask trying to figure out how she knows so much about me ._

_" I just do . time is running out , is there anything else you would like to know ? " _

_" these are the last two questions I have , for now . how often will my disappearance occur ? and can you explain to me how does it happen ? " these two questions are important , I need to understand how this works if I'm going to control it ._

_" to answer your first question , it's unpredictable my dear , I cannot determine how often , it depends on your ability to control it , with time you will start to feel it and learn how to prevent it , some actually were able to stop it entirely and before you ask me , yes you're not the only one and the answer to your second question is simple , the origin of your disappearance exists only in your unconscious mind for the time being but it will develop more when you're familiar with it , and remember it's only for a few minutes or an hour for the most but the world was changed in less , now I must say goodbye . I do believe I kept you long enough , enjoy your breakfast and I'll see you soon "_

_" no , wait … " too late .The old lady began to disappear while consciousness started to wave in the horizon _.

* * *

I woke up with a start and the sun shining down on me , while my head began to swarm with a bunch of new questions , but I pushed them aside when I realized this is my home now , I'll never see my aunt again , I'll never meet my cousins and it all crashed down on me . I cried for the loss of my home , I cried for the family I'll never know , for my aunt because she doesn't know where her niece has gone to , I could feel my world falling apart like a house of cards blown away by a simple breeze. _this is it , this is really it ._

After what seemed like an eternity of endless muffled sobs , I got up and dried my tears , I could accept this and try to fix it or I can lie down and wait for my death if I ended up in the wrong place , and I choose to live and find a way out of this .

I missed breakfast of course since I spent most of the day wallowing in my misery , but I managed to take a bath , and while I was taking my bath , I realized I never asked the old lady about her name , _next time then ._

My first step to adapt in this place was to learn the language , and I need someone to teach me so , I tried to ask Aredhel , and after a few long minutes spent trying to explain to her that I needed her to teach me how to communicate with others by using signs and a lot of pointing , she lead me to the library where I met the elf named Glandurn with his brown hair and his happy dark blue eyes .

he pointed me to a seat across from him while he stood to pull some old leather book from a shelf nearby , his feet never making a sound only the soft _whoosh_ of his dark red ropes was heard when he turned to hand me the book , before I started my first lesson in Elvish .

first he taught me the numbers , but when he realized that I didn't catch up easily , he gave me a leather journal and a quill pen , and it's not as easy as it looks to write with a quill pen , I made a mess of chicken scratches across the first page .

it was obvious that I had never used a quill pen in my life . However ; that didn't seem to bother him , he smiled like a teacher would when the student tries too hard only to make it worse , and he said in a cheerful tone :

" ta Iye sai a' " _( it seems we have much work to do ) _.

So , the rest of the day went by in Elvish words and English curses and Aredhel trying to hold her laughter every time I butchered their language. It was simply a good day , even though I had a long way to master the language and the fact that I will never see my home again hurt , but I pushed them aside as I enjoyed my new world .

* * *

thank you for reading , I hope you liked the chapter and I wish you a good day .

for amaris12345 : yes , she is human and the subject of her death won't be discussed , except in later chapters . also you'll find out about the time line in the next chapter .

P.S : this is not a tragedy , so cheer up :D


	4. Chapter 4

******disclaimer :** I own nothing from lotr , it all belongs to tolkien .

also thank you so much for the positive reviews .

* * *

**New places**

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_" adventures do occur , but not punctually "_

_E.M Forster , a passage to India_

The days went by and I fell into a routine ; it goes like this : breakfast with the elves , morning lessons with Glandur , a late morning walk in the garden , an afternoon spent struggling to remember how to pronounce things while practicing my writing , which is really hard . Elvish characters are an agony .

One day when I was wandering I came across Bilbo , he was sitting on a bench reading some book while enjoying the sun , but I didn't approach him . now at least I know what time period I'm in , with the progress of my lessons , I found out that today is the 28th of January in the year 3018 of the third age , which means that by the end of the year , the fellowship will be formed .

By dinner time I'm barely awake . I sit in my usual place and enjoy my food , when the elleth sitting by my left side inquires about my name and something else , which is strange . Elves usually avoid any unnecessary contact with me , they are polite and distant but never unkind . I think my mortality freaks them out . Well , I understand . they're immortal , and they will never truly comprehend the concept of death completely , it rarely happens to them , other than in battles so , getting attached to a human is risky . unlike humans who deal with the fact that someday they will die , but never let the thought of death stop them from loving someone or going after their dreams so , the presence of a mortal human is , inconvenient for the least .

Still , that doesn't stop me from telling her my name and asking about hers . Her name is Vanya , that's the only thing I was able to comprehend , I'm new to the language ; I can understand if someone spoke slowly with simple words , but it doesn't seem to bother her .

I spend the rest of my dinner listening to her when she says something every now and then , she smiles and I smile back ; I'm really glad that someone is approaching me to start a friendship. After dinner the singing and dancing starts , but I don't excuse myself this time even though I'm tired , instead I choose a corner to sit and watch the dancing and the merrymaking . it's overwhelming the way they laugh and the way they move , sometimes I get lost in all that perfection , only to snap out of it and remember to breathe .

But not this time . after a few minutes of watching them I get lost in my own thoughts , and I wonder about my fate . the disappearing didn't happen again since I arrived here and that was three months ago . somehow , the fact that it didn't happen is starting to concern me _could it all be some huge mistake ? I doubt it_ , but then again the old lady did say it was unpredictable .

I feel someone's eyes on me and I lift my head to see Glorfindel watching me with a strange look in his eyes , before he breaks into a smile . I don't smile back ; I'm worried about what the old lady said , but I'm also trying to stay positive and enjoy my time in Imladris since it's my home now , even though it doesn't feel like it . this place is more than beautiful and I'm grateful for the hospitality but I don't feel like I belong here , _maybe with time _.

He walks in my direction when he sees the worry in my face , _oh god he can read me like an open book_ . when he reaches me ; he sits by my side and doesn't speak a word . we stay like that , in silence . I don't feel like any of us have to say anything , it's a comfortable silence . I haven't seen him much in the last three months , he was gone on a scouting party and he only came back five weeks ago , and I spent most of them immersed in my lessons , but I found some time to spend an afternoon with him every now and then and he didn't seem to mind my company .

I spent yesterday's afternoon in his study , I didn't have anything , it was my break day, so I sat there and tried to carry on a simple conversation , of course I didn't do a good job because I kept stuttering and I had difficulty pronouncing some words , but every time I made a mistake he gave me an encouraging smile while helping me to pronounce it correctly , and every time the sun light coming from the window fell on him , I tried really hard not to stare , it gave his hair the appearance of liquid gold ; it was simply disarming and I caught myself itching to touch it but thought better of it.

Tonight I don't try to say anything , my mind was busy thinking about what will happen if I fall asleep. Somehow , I managed to drop my guard in the previous months , but tonight I just can't seem to ignore it . when I try to get up to excuse myself , I feel Glorfindel's hand on mine as if to keep me from leaving but he snatches it back as if he didn't mean to do it , but I stay .

" re amin " _( forgive me ) _he says very quickly after he puts his hand on his right knee .

I give him a reassuring smile but it doesn't reach my eyes and he sees it and asks :

" mani IIe ? " _( what troubles you ?) _I can't tell him the truth even if I tried to , my grasp on the language is not strong . so, I lie .

"kai" _( nothing ) _I can see that he doesn't believe me but he says nothing about it , instead he asks:

" IIe tan a' " _( would you care for a walk ?)_

" uma " ( yes ) I answer before I take his offered hand .

As we walk in the garden , there is no sound other than the sounds of the night and my footsteps . I can see the night sky with its stars , shining as though they were alive . I never saw so much stars back in my world , but here they shine every night . sometimes when I look at them , I realize I'm just another living creature , a human girl lost in another world .

When we come across the statue of _Lúthien_ he stops and turns to me before he says :

" IIe I' narn ?" _( have you heard the story ?)_ I read it actually , but I want to hear it from him . so , technically it's not a lie .

" n'uma" _(no)_ I say , looking at the statue .

" he essa Lúthien … "_( her name was __Lúthien …) _as he told me the story , my eyes left the statue to look at him while I tried to understand what he was saying but I didn't need to , I knew the end of it but still I wanted to see what he thought of it , clearly he thought of it as a tragedy . however ; I didn't . I thought it beautiful to sacrifice it all for one person , to love so selflessly with no fear . that is what stories are written about . when he finished the story I said :

" IIe vanima " _( it's beautiful ) _yes she died but they had their time together . after all death is not too bad when you make a life with the one you love , there are worse fates .

He seems to think about it for a moment before he answers :

" tani " _(perhaps)_ he says the word with a sigh .

I could feel tiredness catching up to me and a yawn escapes my lips , when Glorfindel sees my tiredness he smiles and says :

" IIe ten' i' dome " _( you should retire for the night )_ .

he kisses my hand before he lets go of it and I feel a shiver go through my body before I nod and tell him good night . As I head to my room I keep repeating in my head _don't form a crush , please don't , there is no chance . settle for a friend _.

I don't even change out of my dress , I'm so tired that I could fall asleep standing , and thank god I didn't because as soon as I got a few hours of sleep I woke up to the feel of a strong pull , like someone is trying to squeeze me through a tiny hole and I try to resist , even though I know I can't stop it . it's happening again and I have no idea where I'll be thrown , it doesn't take me long to find out anyway .

* * *

My first thought was _I'm on a beach_ . I can feel the water splashing against my bare feet and the smell of the ocean filled my senses as I got up from my position , while the damp cold sand found its way to my toes , I can hear the faint resonant sound of music in the distance as if calling to a lost traveler , then I heard the waves crashing over the shore .

I lifted my eyes to the sky with a steady gaze and I watched the brilliant fiery sphere with its ruby red glow dipping beneath the horizon ; reflecting over the blood red sea as the last rays of sunlight began to fade with alacrity ; leaving the sky a chalky pale blue , while it felt as though the world was mourning the loss of its colors with the dying sun and my god _, could anything be more beautiful ?_ .

I take a deep breath as I inhale the air of the sea , watching the demarcation between night and day disappear , like a memory of a dream . a curtain of darkness fell while the wispy clouds parted to reveal a lustrous disc and the sky filled with scintillating stars that looked like scattered diamonds as threads of moonlight wrote their presence to the night .

" I'm in Valinor " I whispered to myself , astonished and tongue tied to say more , _the old lady wasn't joking when she said anywhere_ .

I did not move from my spot , I knew perfectly well where I was , it was clear to see that this place was more breath taking than Imladris , and I didn't see any part of it , except for the beach and the sunset .

I could feel someone standing a few feet behind me , even though I did not hear the person approaching but I knew I wasn't alone so I turned around ; looking for whoever stood there and my eyes fell on a very tall elf with a beard and a silver hair , I knew right away who he was , there is only one elf with a beard , which also means that this is the future because I'm in Vlinor with a bearded Nowe .

" Cirdan … " his name left my lips in a tone of disbelieve and I couldn't say anything else , when a frown started to appear on his face at the sound of his name .

" Firima ? " _( a human ? ) _Cirdan said in a low tone and by my guess in Quenya not Sindarin .

The elf standing a few feet away from me under the moon light seemed _ancient_ . I remember reading that he was one of the oldest being in middle earth and he makes me feel as though I'm an infant , and in this case I am .

I took advantage of his shock and I ran in the direction of the music , giddy with excitement , joy , fear , triumph all at once . If I'm here then I might as well see this place before I disappear , I just got a free ticket to see Valinor and this time I wanted to stay longer so I could explore this place , I don't know if he followed me but I know Glorfindel is here somewhere . I ran as fast as I can following a narrow road , I could see houses now but there were no lights in them , they were dimed by darkness but in day light I'm sure they're spectacular , every house more magnificent than the other with different designs that look too beautiful to be real , I bet my hand that an architect would cry with happiness if he or she were here with me . I didn't take a lot of time to marvel at the houses so , I kept running and after a few minutes I got to the place where the music came from .

It seemed that there is a feast of some sort and it was held in a huge house that I didn't take any time to examine , I just walked in there but I kept to the shadows , and the dress helped . _I can't believe that I'm crashing an Elvish party_ .

I caught the sight of Frodo sitting on a chair next to Gimili , watching the dancing and the singing with a smile on his face. it wasn't hard to recognize them , they were the shortest people in the celebration and they were sitting in the front . also you can't miss Gimili's fiery red hair and braided beard or Frodo's curly dark hair , missing finger and hairy big feet.

They were all dead giveaways as I stood there watching , and no one seemed to notice me when I leaned against the wall . _good_ the wine probably took its hold , there are two options that explain why I wasn't spotted . first , I'm good at sneaking and second , they're just too busy and they had enough wine not to notice me , and I knew it was the latter.

Well , my luck didn't last for long because what I felt next was a familiar hand that held mine as it lead me to a quite , empty hallway . I didn't freak out or protest , I knew perfectly well the owner of the hand .

He still seems to retain the same innocence ( yet not the naivety) , but what surprised me was the vulnerable naked expression on his face when I looked at him under the weak light emitting from the hanged lantern , he seemed happy to see me , yet the awful hollowness , loneliness , suffering and longing in his silver blue eyes made feel like I'm about to drown in an ocean and never return .

His left hand rose to my cheek with a caress far more gentle than any silk , while he kept looking at me as though I'm a dream and he needed more time , more … something . still , no one had ever looked at me in such a way , I never thought in a million years that I'd be looked at as though I'm the reason for someone's happiness .

_what the hell happened ? or more like what the hell did I do ? why is he so sad , but so happy to see me ?_ . He didn't give me more time to contemplate anything else as he pulled me closer to him , before wrapping his arms around me . his embrace was warm , and his arms locked around my body in a protective hold as though he can keep me if he held me tighter and the world around me seemed to melt into nothingness as I hugged him back .

I could smell his musky fresh scent when I held him , I wanted to ask what would make him act this way toward me , but he seemed to saver every minute . It's been almost a half hour since I arrived and time was running out , I need to know what happened .

" Glorfindel … mankoi IIe sadar ? " _(Glorfindel … why you sad ? )_ even though my Elvish still needed work , I tried to phrase what I wanted to know as well as I could.

He didn't answer me , but said :

" il auta" _( do not go ) _but I can't stay , this is not how it works and he's still holding me .

I broke the embrace to look at him , I need to know what happened to make him like this , he's in Valinor , aren't supposed to be happy when you end up here ? . when I'm about to ask him again , I hear someon clearing their throat to get our attention and I turn around to find an elf with dark grey eyes and long black hair that would most certainly gleam like ink in the sun light , standing a few feet away before he says :

" Glorfindel mellon nin , sina IIe noldo " _( Glorfindel my friend , this is unwise )_ his tone kind like a friend would , when he speaks to his companion .

I could see all the vulnerability gone from Glorfindel's face , replaced with a stoic expression and he says :

"il sii Echthelion " _( not now Echthelion)_ Echthelion turns to me and gives me a sad smile , then he says something in Quenya :

"namarie , Fanny " _( farewell , Fanny )_ we probably met before or in my case we will meet , but I don't know it yet , that explains how he knows my name . After he leaves Glorfindel leans against the wall , before he sighs and sits on the ground , when I move to sit by him in the dim empty hallway , his eyes follow my every movement until I'm by his side , then he takes my hand and intertwines it with his . I could feel the pull coming , and I give him a heads up .

" Glorfindel " I whisper and he squeezes my hand tighter , he seems to know the drill and I wonder how many times he tried to make me stay here .

" shshsh Fanny … amin " _( … I know) _by the end of his words I was back in my room , it's still night time , so I got up and changed out of my dress and went to sleep , trying very hard not to think of what happened .

When morning came , I began with my routine but my mind was absent from most of it , and I think Glandur noticed because the lesson was shorter than the usual . I spent most of day in the hall of fire , thinking about what happened in Valinor .

At some point Vanya joined me and kept my mind busy with her cheerful chatter until we headed to dinner , she sat in her usual place next to me and engaged in a conversation with another elleth sitting across from her . this time I danced when Glorfindel asked me and he made me look as though I can really dance , I laughed when he said I'm a good dancer , that was a lie but I didn't care , it was a happy evening and I enjoyed it after I forgot about my worry for a while .

* * *

My next disappearance happened a week later . it was uneventful , the pull was stronger but I tried harder , of course I couldn't stop it and I ended up in the middle of nowhere in a quite field with no one there , it was noon and I didn't mind . I took a stroll around the place , until I got back . For the time being no one noticed my night time disappearances , but they'll do soon enough .

* * *

thank you for reading and have a good day .

P.S : for those of you who want to know , she is a time traveler .


	5. Chapter 5

******disclaimer :** I own nothing from lotr , it all belongs to tolkien .

as always , thank you so much for the reviews .

* * *

**Bad luck **

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"_Do not be afraid; our fate__  
__Cannot be taken from us; it is a gift." __  
__ Dante Alighieri , Inferno_

My next disappearance was three days later and it was simply bad luck , I only got two hours of sleep before I felt the pull and I fought to stop it , and for a minute I really thought it worked , no such luck .

This time , it was night time maybe after midnight by my guess , and for a second I thought I was alone in the absolute darkness . _oh how wrong I was_ , when they saw me or more like _smelled_ my scent , an uproar came over the camp and I was three seconds away from wetting myself .

I was completely frozen with fear , until I heard one of them shout :

" vras gruiuk " _( kill the human)_ I didn't understand what the orc with the yellow gleaming eyes said and I didn't have to , the order was clear as I heard them pick up their weapons , they were coming after me , so I ran as if my bare feet were on fire and I didn't care about the cuts made by the small sharp rocks as I ran . If they catch me , I'll be dead in seconds .

the darkness made it worse because I couldn't see a thing , while they were able to see everything , still fear fueled me even though my muscles were screaming at me to stop , but I didn't . I could hear them gaining on me and it freaked the living hell out of me , I was begging for the disappearance to happen .

I could feel my heart hammering in my chest and my breathing was harsh , but I kept running like hell , as the formless matter called fear ate away my thoughts , until I could no longer think of anything other than how to survive this long enough to get back to Imladris .

" inrans ushtarak " _( shoot the arrow ) _the same orc shouted , which means he's the leader .

What I felt next was the sharp end of an arrow going midway through my left shoulder and staying there , as a warm surge of blood covered the front of my night shift and it hurt , it hurt like hell .

" If I survive this , I'm going to have some serious talk with that old lady " I kept repeating to myself as I fell to my knees , I tried to get up but the pain was excruciating and my vision started to get blurry either from the loss of blood or the poison , because I knew orcs dipped their arrows in it , and if this is a poison then it's some strong stuff . anyway , it didn't take me long to find out , because my body felt as though it was on fire but I held my scream ; it will lead them directly to my location and I can't handle another arrow .

Sweat covered my face and my breathing started to get shallow as I felt my strength leaving my body, but I refused to die like this , alone and scared with a bunch of orcs . It's really strange how much we fear death more than pain , even though we know that death will stop it in a way , but that's humanity , we fear the unknown and we will always do .

" get up … please get up " so , I listened to my own plea and I tried to get up , I could feel the ground shaking as they came closer ; there is no chance in hell I could get away , and that means I need to hide until I disappear .

As I dragged myself to my feet , I looked around the thick woods for a place to hide in and my eyes fell on a small bush , I'd prefer to climb a tree but the poison is slowing my movement and the arrow won't allow me to even move my upper body without feeling its presence , I'm already in enough pain so , I move as quickly as I can with the effects of the poison making me stop every few steps to take a deep breath .

When I reach the bush , I huddle myself behind it , and I try to keep my mind busy , so not to focus on the burning pain . After a few minutes they arrived , I know they know that I'm here but I don't make a sound .

" Ti kram gijac gruiuk " _(the blood trail of the human ends here)_ said the leader as he examined the blood trail , he knows I'm here , but it will take him a few minutes to figure out exactly where . meanwhile my right hand rose to put some pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding , the pull came and I have never been so happy to feel it . I was on the floor when I got back to Imladris and the poison took its hold , I can barely move let alone scream , so I lie there hoping that the poison won't kill me , only weaken me enough so I won't put up a fight . after what seemed like an hour or two the pain began to lessen and I was able to move , but not too much only enough to crawl and that's what I did , until I got to the door and opened it , and that wasn't an easy task .

" tua " _( help )_ I tried to shout but the word came out weak like a whisper , and I don't think anyone heard it , so I leaned against the wall to catch my breath before I tried again .

After a few minutes Vanya came , she seemed to be headed somewhere else , but when she saw the open door and the arrow , she stopped and gasped before she said :

" amin kwentra hir Elrond " _( I will call Lord Elrond ) _that was the last thing I heard before I passed out .

I remember someone picking me up and laying me down on a soft mattress , I remember the feel of the arrow being pulled out and me screaming from the pain at some point , then Glorfindel soothing voice asking :

"mani autla" _( what happened ?) _the question wasn't for me , it was for Vanya because she said:

" amin il " _( I do not know )_ after that I fell into a deep sleep . the next time I woke up it was dark and I was in another room , it was some kind of infirmary and there were other beds but they were empty and I thought I was alone , until I looked at the left side of room ; sleeping in a chair next to my bed was Glorfindel and he was as still as a statue .

the only movement was the slight rise and fall of his chest , he was angelic , his face as fresh as a dew drop . it's strange seeing a sleeping elf for the first time , not just the open unseeing eyes , but how unguarded his face was , no masks or seriousness .

I sigh and I reach for the glass of water on the night stand next to the bed but I stop when I feel the pull _not again , I just woke up_ but I didn't have the strength to fight back , I wasn't in pain anymore but I was exhausted .

all I could do is hope that I don't end up somewhere dangerous , what I didn't realize was Glorfindel waking up and trying to hand me the glass while his other hand supported me , he was going to see my disappearance for the first time , he saw me appear in Imladris and he saw disappear in Valinor but that was in the future . _well , it was going to happen sooner or later _.

this time I ended up in Lothlorien but before I did anything , I examined my wound and a sigh of relief left my lips ; it was almost completely healed and my bare feet were also healed , when I made sure everything was fine I looked around me .

the golden wood was fatefully quite , all that could be heard in this wood with its massive trees , was the susurration of the old yellow leaves in the gusty wind .

when I looked up , I was transfixed by the numerous fluttering yellow leaves that danced in the high boughs , creating a cloud above my head , then I felt it , this place was abandoned , forgotten , it was an echo of its former glory , there is no life in here , the sadness is so thick you could smell it in the air ; I was swooped in the sorrow and my eyes watered , I don't know why but I wanted to capture this moment , it felt as though this place is alive but it's slowly dying , _could it be that the elves made it flourish with life ? _but not anymore , because there is not another soul in this place other than myself or maybe …

" Fanny " the voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I shrieked in surprise , but I calmed down when I saw a dark haired elleth with pure silver eyes , I knew who she was , I saw the same pure liquid silver eyes back in Imladris and she was truly magnificent , her beauty surpassed her own kind and they were the embodiment of perfection itself .

" mmm … Arwen ?" her name came out as a question but I knew it was her , still she smiled and gave me a hug which is strange , we must be friends of some sort , elves don't express affection this way with an unknown human , but something felt wrong , it took me a minute but I realized , _she is fading _I could see it , her eyes are losing the light of life and she is pale , too pale to be thought of as a normal Elvish coloring , she came here to die after Aragon died , and she will after a year of his death , in the year 121 of the fourth age .

she gave me the same sad smile that Echthelion did , and it made me wonder if something bad will happen to me , so I asked her :

"mani ?" _( what ?) _

" ta , yassen amin " _( come , sit with me ) _I think she's about to tell me something I won't like , still I followed her and I sat under some tree with my back against its trunk , before she said :

" lle ndengina " _( you were killed )_ her words were calm and measured , like she was trying not to make alarmed , but like an idiot I said :

" mani "_ (what?)_ this time I didn't say it in a curious tone as before , it was said in the tone of someone who didn't want to believe what was heard in the first time so , they repeat it in hopes that what they heard was simply a mistake .

" ta ed' megil , er atta nelde yen n'ala " _( it was by a sword , it happened 123 years ago ) _that means before the fellowship was formed , because she was married to Aragon in the year 3019 and their marriage lasted for 122 years .

" sut nir' coiasira kwentra amin sina " _( how many times you tell me this ? )_ I was not about to panic , for me the future didn't happen yet , and the future is always changeable .

"sina i' yeste' coiasira " _( this is the first time ) _so this means that there is a chance , I just have to find a way out before it happens .

" sut ?" _( how?) _.

" lye lle e' i' pelenlotaure , lle e' i' pelenlotaure ho re' ta ten' kai" _( we found you in the garden , you told us that you would see us again , but I alone should warn you not him or it would all have been for nothing )_ .

" ho ?" _(him ?)_ I can guess who is the person , but I need to make sure .

" Glorfindel " she said his name with a secretive smile as she looked at me , and it made blush which made her laugh softly at my embarrassment , _she knows something but I wasn't about to ask _.

So , my future self is saving me , that means if Glorfindel told me when I saw him in Valinor , it might have changed something important that needed to happen but what is it ? time works in a certain way , everything is connected to work for a specific outcome that can be changed by small insignificant details , but what if my future self found a loophole to save me , while maintaining the same outcome but in a different way .

This creates a lot of questions but I don't get to ask them , and I'm not sure I want to . Arwen told me of my death but not in detail , so now I'm creating a new path without changing the important things . my death is not set ; my current knowledge is enough to give me a warning , but not enough to make a drastic change .

when the pull starts I give in and I get back to Imladris in the infirmary with Glorfindel pacing back and forth across the place , but when he sees me he stops and sits in the chair next to my bed before he says :

"iire ?" _(when?) _he knows , which means we might have met before in his past but for me it's in my future , he seemed surprised and shocked when he saw me in his study , but what if our meetings occur only over long time periods and that's what surprises him , except this time the disappearance was for a few minutes , so he is not shocked , only worried but _why_ .

" amin yassen Arwen " _( I was with Arwen ) _I don't know how much he knows , but it looks like he knows a few things , and it makes me wonder if he knew all about this but gave me time to adjust before he told me , it would explain why he never asked me questions about my ability , I knew I would if someone appeared out of nothing , but he didn't , he had six weeks after he came back to ask and with the progress of my lessons I could have answered .

" sut harwa ?" _(how is your wound ?) _his worried expression is now replaced by a soft smile , and it took a minute before I answered .

" oh , tereva " _( oh , fine ) _I said as I averted my eyes to the glass of water ; we reached for it at the same time and our fingers touched ; a delicious shiver ran down my spine , like a bolt of electricity but neither of us let go , it was as though time had stopped and we were the only two people who knew , an innocent and a simple touch but the thoughts it created in me were not as innocent .

I don't know if he felt what I did so , my eyes left the glass of water and met his silver blue ones , it was the same emotion I saw that night before we went for a walk , but this time I was able to discern it , such longing yet not as the same as the one I saw in Valinor , this was not accompanied with hollowness and sorrow , it was a pure longing and I was afraid that he could see every passing thought on my face , but still he did not let go .

I knew it was inappropriate , but my eyes left his and traveled over his face , the high cheek bones , the straight nose , the perfectly full lips and I bit mine .

his gaze followed the motion , I was so close to leaning in if not for my sanity screaming at me that he was an elf lord , and he would never look at a simple human girl in that way , so I broke the touch and I cleared my throat , while my eyes stared at the floor and my hand reached to scratch the back of my neck , I was blushing like a little girl and my heart was beating fast , I was drawn to him like a moth to flame and it scared me _,_ this is dangerous , what I'm thinking is not …

" Fanny " he said my name in a whisper and my eyes left the floor to meet his , I ignored my thoughts and started with my questions .

"lye n'ala Gondolin ?" _(we meet before Gondolin ? )_ I already know the answer , it would explain many things .

"uma , nan' amin essa tenna' lle e' " _( yes , but I never knew your name )_ he was smiling as if he was remembering a fond memory .

" sut nir' coiasira ?" _(how many times we meet ?)_ _why did he not tell me this before ? what am I missing ? and how much does he know ? _all these unanswered question swirled in my mind and I knew now why some people prevented their disappearance , it makes me feel lost and confused , it's more complicated than I thought , it's like I killed time and somehow damaged eternity in the process .

" nir' " _( many)_

" mankoi lle il kwentra amin sina n'ala Glorfindel "_(why you not tell me this before Glorfindel ?)_ I felt angry how could he keep this from me if he knew me , I knew he detected the anger in my tone because his eyebrows furrowed as if the answer was clear and I was blind to it .

" lle ilyamenie Fanny , amin ta en' coiasira n'ala lle … ar' lle ilyamenie nan' n'alaquel " _( you always leave Fanny , I thought it was a matter of time before you did … but tonight you came back )_ he looked away when he said the last part , focusing his gaze on the open window .

" san mankoi kwentra hir Elrond lle amin e' Gondolin ? " _( then why tell Lord Elrond we meet in Gondolin ?) _he answers my question as if he is stating a fact , and he is .

" ten' lye , coiasira nan' il e' Gondlin ta … n'ataya " _( because we did , you always recognize me when we meet but that day in Gondolin you didn't , you were different ) _I really have a long way to go , but first there is the matter of my death and I will tell him about it , because I know I'll need his help .

" amin gurtha sina yen Glorfindel " _( I die in the end of this year Glorfindel )_ his lips tighten and he clenches his right fist on the carved handle of the chair , before he says :

" ier lle ?"_( are you certain ?)_ I don't know what he is thinking , the emotions going through his eyes were too many to discern and he quickly hid them with his expressionless mask , someday he won't be able to lock everything like this from me , but not today .

" nan' amin ta , eller estel "_ ( but I can change it , there is hope) _this gets his full attention , and I can see hope blooming in his eyes .

" kwentra amin" _( tell me ) _I get up from the bed and I head for the window , before I answer him.

" lle a' sa sut en ? " _(will you teach me how to fight ?)_ I never heard him move , but I felt the heat radiating from his body , he was standing too close to me while my heart was beating louder than ever ; I hoped his Elvish hearing won't pick up the sound , but it probably will .

" iire a' ray ? " _(when do we begin ?)_ too close , I moved away from the window , if any one saw me , they would think I was trying to put some distance between us , and that is exactly what I was trying to do , he doesn't know his affect on me .

"rato " _( soon )_ he nodded his approval and I lay in my bed ; waiting for him to leave , but he simply sat in the chair next to my bed before he said :

" quel dome Fanny " _( Good night Fanny ) _I smiled at him as sleep began to descend upon my mind ; clearing it from any worries .

"quel dome Glorfindel " _( good night Glorfindel) _I could feel his hand removing a lock of hair from my face , before I fell into a world of dreams .

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thank you for reading and have a good day .

for LovelyBoA : it is not a sad story , I promise :D .

P.S : the Elvish used in this chapter or any other chapter is not entirely correct .


	6. Chapter 6

******disclaimer :** I own nothing from lotr , it all belongs to tolkien .

as always , thank you so much for the reviews . I haven't updated in two weeks , but don't worry , I promise to finish this story .

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**The queen **

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"_The world is not ready for some people when they show up, but that shouldn't stop anyone." __  
__ Ashly Lorenzana_

The warm light filtered through my thin eyelids , and I blinked a few times to adjust my eyes to the illumination directed at my sleepy figure , while my mind woke from its torpid state , I got up and took a bath , before I dressed and headed for my breakfast , today I will start my fighting lessons with Glorfindel ; nine days have passed and I feel perfectly well , as though I was never injured.

When I arrive at breakfast , I sit next to Vanya and the other elves as they talk and laugh . I don't pay attention to the conversation , but when they quite down for a minute and awkwardness fills the air , I lift my head from my plate and find Glorfindel sitting across from me , which is strange . I don't usually see him at breakfast , and if I did see him , he's always sitting in another table with Erestor or alone . He gives me a brilliant smile before he asks :

" sut lle sina amrun ?"_ (how do you fare this morning? )_ _okay , what is going on ?_ I mean he's been acting weird since I told him about my death , he seems to spend more time with me , and the other elves noticed , but it looks like he doesn't care , because he's having breakfast with me while the other elves try to go back to their conversation ; I know they can hear every word between us as I answer :

"amin eithel , ar' lle ?" _( I'm well , and you ?) _

"i' atya' vee' lle " _( the same as you )_ his radiant smile is contagious and I smile back , but we don't say anything else as we go back to our food . when he is finished , he gets up and bows , but I catch a flash of worry when his eyes meet mine , before he paints over it with a smile , but I know it's not real , I could tell when he truly smiles out of joy , and this one is out of worry _, maybe I shouldn't have told him _.

I know elves are not good when it comes to death ; it's my death , but he seems affected by the news , maybe more than myself . I had nightmares about my upcoming death , but every time I woke up promising to do everything in my power to prevent it , maybe not forever , but for a while .

The thing is , I think he doesn't understand how it all works , no one does . we don't go to the halls of mandos and come back , we're gone forever .

I try to finish my breakfast but my appetite is gone , so I put down my spoon and head for my morning lessons with Glandur , but not before I catch the weird look from Vanya ; I really hope she can't see how he affects me ; I'm not ready for her to tell me it's impossible … I already know , but the irrational part of me thinks there is hope with this stupid crush .

when my lessons are over , I change into a dark green tunic and some pants , before I meet Glorfindel in the training grounds . he hands me a long silver knife with beautiful Elvish writing , it took me a minute , but I realized it was my name .

" ta ten' lle " _( it's yours )_ he says as he leads me to the middle of the training grounds , but I can't stop staring at the knife , the golden hilt and the sharp edges , someone worked really hard on this beautiful weapon .

" hannon lle Glorfindel " _( thank you Glorfindel )_ he nods as he fixes my hold on the weapon , and we begin our first lesson , which includes working on my stance , then my hold on the long knife and how to attack . let's just say I only lasted for a few minutes before I started to breathe harshly , I'm not an athlete . I don't run , or go to the gym , and I'm paying for it now with Glorfindel as my trainer. after an hour , I couldn't take it anymore .

"tampa" _(stop)_ I said as I sat on the ground trying to catch my breath , I was drenched in sweat , and dirt covered my clothes from my endless failed attempts on attacking him ; all I wanted was a long bath and a cookie .

" Fanny" _great , he wants me to get up , _give me a break , I have no energy left , but I asked for this and my life depends on it so , I got up but as soon as I did I felt the pull .

" no , no , no come on " I tried to resist but I was tired , so my resistance lasted less than a minute. I ended up in a hall full of elves and for a second , I thought I appeared in the dining hall in Imladris in a different time , but the elves that were having breakfast were not the same .

"oh shit " when they heard me , they stopped eating and silence fell over the hall ; I swear you could hear a pin drop . it took one of them a minute before he got up , and walked in my direction with his sword out . I raised my hands in surrender , only to realize that I was holding the long knife , so I dropped it , and it hit the floor with a loud clatter .

"whoa , look this is not what it looks like" the ellon with the silver hair and light green eyes frowned at my words , but he kept advancing on me , and the elves started to talk in a hushed manner , but before he reached me a female voice from the end of the hall said :

"Aravel" her tone held a warning , but she looked at me with kindness ; her dark hair was pulled back in an Elvish braid . a circlet that held a red ruby in the middle adorned her head , while a smile found its way to her lips , even though she looked harmless , I knew she was powerful , you could sense it just beneath the surface .

" nan' , arwen re …" _( but , my lady … )_ the dark haired lady gave him a look that cut him off , and he lowered his sword , before he began to speak again .

" sut re tal ? i' ista ai'er avaene i' en' i' aran " _( how could she have entered the kingdom unnoticed ? the spell wouldn't have allowed anyone to enter without the permission of the king "_ I don't like this elf , even though I didn't understand a few words of what he said , but I knew he wasn't on my side .

"_ he nostale i' palurin vee' ron , _ista il tampa sen" _( her kind can roam the world as they please , a spell will not stop them ) _the elf named Aravel was about to say something , but I spoke before a word left his mouth .

" nostale ? " _( my kind ?)_ the dark haired lady frowned at my question , but then said :

" lle rangwa amin ? " _( you understand me ?) _.

" uma , nan' mani lle ed' nostale ?" _( yes , but what do you mean by kind ? ). _

" edanea en' rant , nan' ron ier n'ataya , lle nan' amin er en' lle , lle ier i' yeste' " _( humans of course , but they're different , I heard about you , but I never encountered one of you , you're the first )_ curiosity shined through her eyes and she turned to Aravel , who picked up the long knife and inspected it .

" ta ed' edhel " _( it's made by an elf )_ he declared , and my hand itched to retrieve it , but I didn't move .

" ta n'alaquel " _( give it back please )_ I said as my fingers twisted in my tunic . the other elves were watching me with a strange look , as if they were disturbed somehow .

"sut ed' sina edan ? " _( how did you come by this human ? )_ his tone was filled with suspicion .

" ta ona" _( it was a gift )_ he didn't seem to believe me , so he asked .

" mankoi edhel ona edan ? " _( why would an elf gift a human ?) _if he is implying that I have stolen it , then we have a problem , because then he wouldn't give it back and I might disappear without it ; I was not about to lose the thing that could save my life .

So , I took a step in his direction and stretched my hand to take back the weapon , but he removed it from my reach ; I was about to try again but the dark haired lady said :

" re kwentra Aravel " _( she speaks the truth Aravel )_ the ellon hesitated , but relented to my previous request .

As another elleth entered the hall , Aravel attention turned to her and his face turned expressionless , but his eyes spoke volumes , before they too were silent , the elleth resembled the dark haired lady , but I knew her identity .

" Lúthien , it's really you" surprise laced my tone as Lúthien turned to me , and smiled before she said :

" edan ? **" **_( a human ? )_ this means that this is really the first age , and the dark haired lady is Melian the queen of Doriath , I guess the spell guarding this place from outsiders doesn't really work on me . ok , this could be worse , I mean I just met the mother of Lúthien who existed before the creation of Arda , and her father is not here . _that's good , _ I don't think that he is going to like this , he freaking sent Beren on a suicide mission thinking that he would fail . however ; he made it .

But the way Aravel looked at her with his light green eyes ; shining while an old sadness lingered in his gaze , like a wound that would never heal .

he had it bad for her , it will break him when she dies . they never tell us about the ignored love when the happily ever after happens , but the thing is , there is no such a thing as happily ever after , pain and sadness will find their way to every living creature , but they will dress differently in every life , that doesn't mean happiness is a myth , it's real but it won't be the only thing anyone would ever feel , we can be happy but happy won't be the only thing we'll be .

I felt sorry for him , Lúthien seemed clueless to his attention , but her mother and I were not . the pull came , and before I gave in , I turned to Aravel and said :

"quell marth Aravel " _( good luck Aravel )_ his brows furrowed but he nodded ; five seconds later I was back in the training grounds with Glorfindel in the same spot , he seemed as though he never moved .

" tula sinome " _( come here )_ his hand stretched , inviting me to take it , and I did . his slim long fingers intertwined with mine , and I was struck by the memory of valinor ; the same hand but a different feeling .

I liked his touch when he danced with me , or when he removed my messy brown locks from my face ; they were simple gestures but they meant something else to me . I really hoped no one was looking at the display ; it won't be welcomed ; elves are not fond of humans , they are respectful but they look down at us , and sometimes it makes me angry , but other times I wonder about what lies beneath their masks .

" tira ten' rashwe " _( please be careful )_ he said softly ; reaching for my other hand and drawing me closer . if anyone saw this , it would be … I don't even know , but it won't be considered a good thing .

my right hand broke his gentle grip , and for the first time since Gondolin , I touched one of his golden strands ; their silky and soft texture felt heavenly going through my fingers .

"Uuma dela " _( don't worry )_ I said , trying to maintain a normal tone .

" amin n'uma " _( I cannot )_ .

"amin nan' ier Glorfindel " _( I know , but you shouldn't Glorfindel )_ there is the static again , the one that fills the air when I gaze into the endless sea in his eyes , I **need** to distance myself from him . he is like the sun , and sometimes I think I would burn if I got too close.

So, I move away from him ; hurt flashes in his eyes , and I regret it for a second , before I remember that what I'm doing is not safe , I will admit that my emotions seem to slip out of my grasp every time I'm near him , but I know I'm not a fool to act upon them .

" amin hiraetha " _( I'm sorry )_ I say looking at a spot on the ground , that somehow seemed more safe to look at .

" mankoi ?" _(why?) _he sounds confused and I don't know why I really apologized , I just did , it felt as though I should , and I answered with a shrug .

" lle ier Fanny " _( you are strange Fanny )_ yeah I knew that a long time ago , but it made me smile , because it brought back a memory of my aunt Lisa when she found me eating ice cream with French fries ; she said the same thing .

" amin " _( I am ) _he didn't smile , but he was about to say something when Vanya entered the training grounds ; she seemed in a good mood .

" Lle tela Fanny ? "_ ( are you finished Fanny ?) _I don't have to answer , because Glorfindel bows and says Farewell before he departs .

When I get back to my room , I take a long bath to soothe my aching limbs ; the first day of training was exhausting and I needed rest , so after I finish my dinner I go straight to bed .

My next sessions were better , I still needed a lot of work to improve my attacks but I managed to hold the long knife correctly .

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After my 11th session I decided to stay instead of going straight to bed after dinner ; I didn't spend time with people other than Glorfindel and Glandur , while endless lessons kept pouring over my head like a glass of cold water .

Tonight I decided to relax , and I enjoyed a few glasses of Elvish wine . _bad move_ , I didn't know it was _that_ strong . it made feel so happy as though I didn't have a care in the world , and I danced like an idiot , I did the robot move and it was executed poorly ; the other elves laughed , and Vanya joined in my weird dance , the colors were bright , and I felt as though I was in wonderland .

I was giddy with happiness , and I knew I was going to wake up with a major hangover , but it didn't stop me , I haven't felt this good in forever , and I took advantage of it .

After the weird dancing , I left the hall and I headed for the river , I never went skinny dipping , I was too afraid but tonight I had the sudden urge to do it , so when I got there I stripped out of my dress , and I jumped in the river ; the shimmering water was waist high and it was cold .

a shrill laugh escaped my lips , and I dipped my head under the water ; when my head broke the surface again , I was met with the sight of Glorfindel standing on the river bank , and he gave me a disapproving look , while my hand covered the front of my body ; he didn't seem disturbed or uncomfortable with the fact that I'm naked , and I knew elves were fine with nudity but I wasn't , and I was too drunk to feel embarrassed .

" mani ier lle ?" _( what are you doing? ) _I think it's clear , but I answer anyway .

" e' i' duin " _( swimming in the river )_ .

" n'e en' i' alu Fanny , ri' lle lanta " _(get out of the water Fanny , or you will fall ill )_ concern laced his voice , but I remained in the water ; it felt good and I wanted to stay .

" hey Glorfindel , how do you say : you sexy thing in Que-Quenya ? " my words were slurred , but _what the hell am I saying ? _I really lost it , and there will be hell to pay tomorrow . he ignored my words , and sat on the bank ; waiting for me to come out .

After a few minutes , I got out and dressed in a hurry ; he was looking at the sky , the moon light was spreading like spilled milk , lessening the inky blackness of the night , but not so bright as to dull the stars that speckled and glittered in the heavens above .

The biting chilly air of the night guided my fingers to clumsy numbness , cold seeped into my bare feet , while my teeth chattered like a pneumatic drill .

When he saw this , he got up and took my hands in his ; rubbing them to create warmth , and after a few minutes , I felt warmer , and my teeth stopped their chattering .

We got back inside ; the house was quite , and we didn't encounter anyone , but he didn't take me to my room , instead he took me to his study , and he lit a fire in the fireplace . the blazing flames sent their warmth far out into the room , flashing red reflections over his golden hair .

" tula , hama neva I'naur " _( come , sit near the fire )_ when I sit he joins me , and he doesn't say a word , only stares at the dancing flames , lost in some memory , and a sudden thought strikes me , so I ask because even though the affect of the wine lessened , I'm still drunk .

" lle kwentra amin I' yeste' coiasira ? "_ ( can you tell me about the first time you met me ?) _I knew I met him in Gondolin , but _how did he meet me ?_ I was pondering the question every now and then , though I didn't have the courage to ask .

" I' coiasira ? " _( you do not remember ?) _.

" n'uma " (no) my answer surprises him , and he mutters something under his breath , before he sighs and says :

" amin nessa i' yeste' coiasira , amin lle . lle essa , ar' iire amin raika , il en' edhel , ar' n' korima " _( I was young the first time I met you , very young . you called my name , and when I saw you I thought something was amiss , your appearance was not of an elf , and your ears were round ) _the last part made me laugh , I never thought in a million years that someone would think I'm different , because I had round ears .

he smiled , and was about to continue , but my eyes kept closing and opening in a tired and a sleepy manner , so he pulled me to him , and my head rested against his chest while his arms engulfed me in a warm hug ; the sound of his beating heart soothed me , and made me feel as though I could never know sadness again .

I fell asleep thinking how wonderful it felt to be held by him , but I woke up a while later from a nightmare , it couldn't have been long , because the fire now is almost nonexistent , only the soft dark orange pulse of its remains .

" auta n'alaquel , a' kaima " _( it was only a nightmare , go back to sleep )_ when I didn't , he sang to me softly , his words fell over me like a spell , and I was asleep in minutes . this time I didn't wake up , but I felt his soft lips brushing over my brow in a simple kiss .

" lisse' olos Fanny " ( sweet dreams Fanny ) oh , they were more than that .

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thank you for reading and have a good day .

for DeLacus : I can't tell you that , you have to read :D


	7. Chapter 7

******disclaimer :** I own nothing from lotr , it all belongs to tolkien .

thank you so much for the reviews , they made me smile . I'm really happy that you like this story :D .

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**History in the making**

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"_I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be." __  
__― Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul_

I woke up the next day with a major headache , I already regret last night , _what the hell happened ?_ I remember drinking and feeling unbelievably happy , and at some point swimming naked in the river , then being in Glorfindel's study , that's it .

I really hope I haven't done anything stupid , other than skinny dipping of course . The pounding in my head was making me feel nauseous , so I got up from my bed and went to the chamber pot , I'll spare you the details .

After I finished my colorful show , I wiped my mouth , before I lay on the ground thinking about painkillers and hangover effects , as my bad mood announces its presence .

" what a perfect morning to go back to sleep " I didn't want to get up ; the ceiling with its carved flowers commanded my interest , I can never get tired from staring at any part of this house , it was a proof of how much elves loved art .

I love art , the problem is I can't create it , and sometimes it makes me feel sad , but then I realize that I appreciate it , and that is enough in a way .

The warm sunlight coming from the window poured over the floor like sweet honey , but it didn't reach me , and after a few minutes the door opened ; I didn't have any intention of getting up , the headache felt horrible and moving seemed to make it worse .

"quel amrun " _( good morning ) _I found out who was the speaker when Vanya's face filled my vision . She was in a good mood , that makes one of us .

" not really " since I spoke the words in English she didn't understand , but she handed me a cup which contained a liquid with a herbal scent . I didn't even question it , I just drank it .

The taste was fine , and my headache started to lessen after fifteen minutes , while I dressed and went to breakfast . I enjoyed a piece of bread with strawberry jam , but when I tried to tell Vanya that I didn't want to attend my lessons today because I was too tired to try and read one of Glandur's huge books , I felt the pull .

I tried to get up from my seat in a hurry while the other elves gave me questioning looks , the pull was strong and I fought to stop it , that or running out of the hall and disappearing .

This time I lasted longer , but I couldn't stop it . I appeared in immense fields , and I was not alone . No one saw me , because the darkness shielded my presence , and I was lost to their sight like a drop in the ocean .

It was a camp for an army , but it was filled with human men . I was so happy to see normal people after this long , and I had to stop myself from going out there to join them .

They might not be friendly , I mean wouldn't it be strange for a girl with no company what so ever to appear ? so I settled for watching them from afar , I could see that they were blonde when the fire casted its warm glow on them , _probably from Rohan ._

Some were speaking and others were eating , but tension was in the air . A rider from the other side was dismounting from his horse with a kid in front of him , it took me a second but I realized it wasn't a kid but a hobbit , and I was the only one to notice them .

The words left my mouth in a whisper " huh , Eowyn doing her stunt , now that calls for a picture " the thing is I don't have a camera , oh how much I miss technology , I could write an acrostic poem about it .

My curiosity was piqued , so I moved to get closer , but I stopped because my movement was accompanied with another pair of footsteps , and I turned around to see who was there , only to face a man with short hair that fell over his sharp face .

" are you crazy ? get back " _wait , what ?_

" what the hell ? you can speak English " when I didn't make a move to get back he dragged me behind a huge rock , there was another person there , a woman with similar features to the man. I couldn't see them clearly to distinguish their features in the darkness , but she seemed freaked out .

the woman looked at me , then back at the man before she asked in a low tone .

" what took you so long ? "

" she was going to blow our cover , I had to get her back " the man was nervous but not as much as the woman .

" excuse me , but who are you ? " I asked , hoping to get a clue about what was happening . They both answered separately , as though this occurred before with someone else .

" Henry "

" Laurel "

" and before you ask , she's my sister and we're here to make sure everything goes smoothly "

Well , they didn't look like the chatty type , but I didn't care .

" why ? I mean why wouldn't anything go smoothly ? " I really missed talking to people who spoke the same first language as myself , but there were so many questions , and excitement mixed with fear filled me .

" I changed something , and I need to make sure it doesn't affect the outcome , now please shut up , you're clearly a new traveler and you can't control it , but I don't have the time to explain or we'll get caught " by the end of his words the pull came and for the first time , I tried to resist coming back to Imladris , but it was futile .

When I got back , the hall was almost empty , except for Vanya who was still sitting in the same place when I left .

" yallume ! manke lle ? " _( at last ! where have you been ? ) _she was frowning , but not in fear or suspicion , more like the way you would look at a friend when you find out something weird about them . when I didn't answer , she asked another question .

" amin mani ier lle Fanny ? " _( what are you Fanny ?)_

" edan amin vesta " _( I'm human , I swear )_ still , she didn't seem convinced but she left it at that , and before she left the hall , she turned and said:

" i' n'at lle ier ethir ten' Sauron "_ ( the others think that you are a spy for Sauron )_

" they really need to work on their priorities "

She didn't hear me , and if she did she wouldn't understand .

I stayed in the empty hall for a while , before I went back to my room . this was not how I pictured my day , I knew that at some point I had to explain my ability to them and that they might not be trusting ; it was a dangerous time and people were switching sides , so how could I make them trust me ? .

I didn't leave my room even for dinner , and no one came until it was after midnight , somehow I couldn't fall asleep , and the soft knocking on my door was enough to make me get up from my bed .

When I opened the door it wasn't a surprise that Glorfindel was there , I knew he would come , it was a matter of time , but I didn't think that he would show up this late ; he broke the line of my thoughts when he said :

" mani marte ?"_ ( what happened ?)_ I want to tell him about the others ; the best thing that happened today was meeting them , at least I know I'm not the only one , but the question remains _will I ever see them again ? _it was pure luck that I ended up where they were .

" ron amin " _( they saw me )_ he sighs and his hand fiddles with his sleeve , I didn't realize that I haven't invited him in , but isn't that just as bad as leaving him standing outside my door ? when he sees my conflict he says :

" eller vasa e' i' manka lle " _( there is some food in the kitchens if you want )_ I nod before I take his offered hand .

I swear you would think that we were the only people in this huge place ; the silence is beyond comprehension , but before we reach our destination , I feel the pull again and I fight to stop it .

"tam arte au' " _(it's happening again )_ well , thank you for stating the obvious Glorfindel , still I try to keep my bad mood out of this , and I hold his hand tighter as though it could stop my 'traveling ' as Henry or whatever called it , but it's no use .

I ended up in a grassy meadow that was surrounded by the tallest of pine trees , and dotted by daisies , that were ruffled by a soft breeze . In awe , I watched the colorful butterflies fitting around the lush grass and dipping their tiny feet into a clear , bubbling brook .

"lle sinome " _( you came ) _the voice was so familiar , I was talking to the person a minute ago , and I turned around to face him . He was standing next to a pine tree , his arms crossed over his chest , and he was smiling .

" manke amin ?" _( where am I ? ) _his smile only grows wider as he comes closer , and I meet him in the middle of the meadow , before he answers.

" neva i' en' Gondolin " _( near the borders of Gondolin )_

"oh !" I could tell him about it all , the fall , Maeglin's betrayal . I can stop it all before it happens , I never felt such a power , and it scared the living hell out of me , but I kept my mouth shut . I was not about to change the story , something this big is bound to change many things , too many possibilities .

When he reached me his hand found its usual place against my cheek , he was the same but somehow different , less serious and apparently more affectionate .

" lle kwentra amin essa sina coiasira ai edan ?"_ ( will you tell me your name this time little human ?)_ I will not change a thing , his future self told me that I never told him my name , which is weird but I will not risk it .

" n'uma" _(no) _the answer didn't seem to bother him , it was as though this was our little game , and I wonder how many times he asked me that .

He lead me to a small stream and we spent the rest of my short time talking about the most unimportant things , I never asked him about the future or the past , we existed in the moment and he asked one thing before the pull came .

" amin lle au' ? " _(will I see you again ?) _I was back to the dark hallway , before I could even open my mouth to answer him . The other Glorfindel was leaning against the wall , and he seemed as though he wanted to say something but thought better of it . He didn't say a word as we made our way to the kitchens , only fiddled with his sleeve . Apparently it's a compulsive habit of his .

I sat down in a wooden chair as a plate was handed to me , and I ate silently but at some point I decided to break the silence .

" amin ta Gondolin , neva i' . lle vati ? " _( I was in Gondolin , near the boarders . Do you remember ? )_

He was still standing but when I told him , he grabbed a nearby chair and sat across from me , and his eyes were looking everywhere but me , before he finally answered .

"uma" _( yes)_ clearly I am not getting more than that , it's as though there is something bothering him , or maybe I upset him by my question .

" ier lle yassen , Glorfindel ? " _( are you angry , Glorfindel ?)_ a sigh escaped him at the sound of his name before he said :

" n'uma … heru Elrond kwentra i' lle ier n'uma ethir , nan' sal ron ier " _( no … lord Elrond told_ _the others that you are no spy , but still they were suspicious ) _

" ikotane , mani sa " _( so , what will happen ?)_

" a' hyarya ereb ten' i' coiasira " _( you are not to be left alone for time being )_ I can handle this , it might not be comfortable but I can handle it .

After I finish my dinner I go back to my room , and I ponder the events of the day . Other questions face me now , _when will I control it ? could I ever control it ? what about the two people I met , could they have a link to this somehow ? _ . It was late and the sun was going to rise a few hours from now , so I gave in to my tiredness and I fell asleep to vicious dreams .

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thank you for reading and have a good day .


	8. Chapter 8

******disclaimer :** I own nothing from lotr , it all belongs to tolkien .

thank you so much for the reviews , they made my day :D .

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**Different sides**

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"_Behind every beautiful thing, there's some kind of pain." __  
__― Bob Dylan_

My days went by in their regular routine , and I made more effort to improve my language , Glandur didn't seem to mind the extra lessons , as for my fighting lessons they were over . There was nothing else Glorfindel had to teach me , I reached my limits and they were enough . I can fight long enough to travel back , but not to win .

He also made sure to teach me certain moves , just in case . They were not fair in a fight , it might be called cheating , but I call it saving my ass in the last minute without having to kill my opponent .

In one of our sessions I told him that I can't kill or more like I won't , not even if I had to . I have red lines , everyone has and killing is a line I'll make sure not to cross . I am not all righteous , I know if I ended up in the lonely mountain with all the jewels and gold , I'll pick up a few in my way out , I mean who wouldn't .

By my logic it's justifiable . If I'm unlucky enough to end up with Smaug at some point without being grilled alive , then I'm taking some souvenirs with me , you know like a trophy for staying alive . It's not stealing , it's … ummm borrowing without returning .

After my public time traveling or disappearing elves kept an eye on me , I swear I can't even cough without some heads snapping in my direction . Vanya on the other hand was with me most of the time , _I was not to be left alone_ as Glorfindel said , and I wasn't .

I was taking my usual walk in the garden accompanied by Vanya , she was humming a beautiful tone that enchanted me , but somehow made me sad .

" what are you singing ? " I was curious , she was always in a good mood but today she was off , _strange_ .

" an old song " ok , so something was defiantly wrong .

" what is it Vanya ? "

" will you tell me the truth if I ask you ? "

" perhaps " I was not about to dig a hole for myself by saying yes , but I was curious enough not to say no .

" where have you gone to when you disappeared ? "

I can answer that , it was a safe question , yes she is my friend but that doesn't mean I'll tell her everything , especially my crush , I'm certain she won't respond to it in a good way .

" I think I went to Rohan , but it was in the future "

" you jest , surely ? " she seems skeptical , I know how crazy it sounds when I say it out loud , but why should I lie ? .

" far from it actually , I knew that I was bound to tell you this sooner or later "

" have you gone to many places ? " well , apparently she was playing along .

" no , but I've been to Valinor and I must say , it was beyond anything I could ever imagine "

" how could you ? no human in all of arda can enter the undying lands without the permission of the Valar "

" well , I'm not from arda Vanya , my home is far away from here . People would think I've gone mad if I told them arda even existed " she was frowning as though she was confused by my words , before her face turned expressionless , and she traced a flower petal with her elegant fingers . If I had to guess she was making a decision .

" I do not know why , but I believe you . I would say you're mad if not for what I saw "

" thank you " before she asked anything else , anything that might contain the mention of Glorfindel , because I knew very well that my face would give me away , I said the first thing that came to my mind .

" we should return inside " she raised her eyebrows in question , but I avoided her gaze . Apparently I'm not as subtle as I'd like to think .

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When I was getting ready for dinner the pull came , and this time I lasted for six minutes , I thought it worked , haha the joke was on me , because for a glorious moment , I let my guard down and I disappeared .

I appeared in what seemed to be a huge room with a high ceiling , also there were a lot of short people and … elves ? , and there was a meeting of some sort . By now I think I got better at locating where I am , using certain steps . first , what kind of people are roaming the place ? ( this is my most important step , so that I would know if I had to run ) . Second , ( in case there weren't any people around ) the buildings , are they made by elves , dwarves Hobbits … ? . Third , did they notice me ? in this case it's a no , they were too busy and I was standing behind one of the huge pillars that supported the room .

It was clear that this place was built by dwarves , it had a few statues of dwarvish looking people made out of gold standing next to the entrance , plus the beards were a dead giveaway , I mean no one , no one can grow a beard like a dwarf . Good grief , I wonder what would happen if they had an annual competition that includes all the races of middle earth .

The winner is going to be the one with best beard , I guarantee you that elves would finish last . It made me smile , maybe if it was an all hair competition they could win , and a picture of Glorfindel with his golden hair appears in my mind , _yeah he can defiantly win _.

I got my attention back to the present instead of daydreaming about hair competitions . The leader was handing seven small boxes to seven dwarves _oh no ! _it took me less than a minute to connect the dots . The dark haired elf is Celebrimbor ( the grandson of Feanor , and the greatest craftsman in the history of middle earth ) who is the founder of Gwaith-i-mirdain , the people of the jewel-smiths , which is a brotherhood of Elven master craftsmen of the second age , who created the rings of power that will lead to the dominion and eventual downfall of Sauron in the war of the ring .

So , this is Moria in the year 1500 of the second age . One of the group members caught my attention , he had blonde almost white radiant hair and it made him light up like a bulb , he was beautiful but for all his beauty there was something about him that felt sinfully wrong , maybe it's the smug smile or the over confident stance , whatever it was , I knew him .

His name was Annatar , you might know him as Sauron and this was the visage he chose when he tried to get the elves on his side , _as if_ . I ignored the fact that I was in the same place as Sauron and my eyes examined the other elves , some of the elves I could recognize ; others I couldn't .

The ones I recognized will end up living in Imladris , I came across them once or twice , while I was walking the halls of the last homely house ( you would think that they would come up with a cool name for one of the last elvish settlements , but who am I to judge ? ) .

By the time my eyes went back to the dwarves , who were talking excitedly , while their eyes glinted in that infamous dwarvish greed as they beheld the sight of the rings , but I was back before I could see the rings encircling their fingers .

I was late for dinner by now and I expected to find Vanya with a frown , but instead I found Glorfindel .

" you are late " he was looking out of the window with his back to me , he didn't sound upset , actually his tone was emotionless but he was upset .

" then we should go before someone notices "

" they already have " so much for being subtle .

" I do not care , I'm going " a sigh escapes him and he turns around to face me . Soft wisps of that Golden hair swept past a pointed ear and caressed the skin of his neck and his silver blue eyes were shielded by the darkness , but when he got closer I could not tell what emotions were soaring just beyond those walls .

" will you ever stop disappearing Fanny ? " his tone was low, but I heard him , his words were clear and I've been asking the same question since I got here , but clearly I'm not the only one , I was truly curious .

" why do you care ? " he didn't say a word , till I thought it was the end of the conversation , then he spoke .

" you do not understand "

" understand what Glorfindel ?" his answer came sooner than I thought this time .

" every time I see you … every time , it could be the last , I know you said you are going to be killed by the end of the yea-"

" I also said there is hope " I know that cutting him off was not the most polite thing to do , but I had to do it , he hadn't been the same since I told him , and I really regret telling him but I needed his help . I was caught between feeling guilty and trying to justify what I did .

" some things will remain the same , no matter how much you try to change them , I'm well acquainted with such fate " I was getting more angry with each word , but I always prided myself on my ability to hold my tongue when I got angry , and I hoped I wouldn't lose such a quality .

" not all things , I will change it . You think I do not understand , but I do . It's my life after all "

" then forgive me for intruding my lady , I was only …" he didn't finish what he intended to say or , I didn't hear him , the last words tumbled from his lips like little pebbles onto sand . They dropped too fast for me to catch them , and landed like a trail behind him as he left the room .

I was too shocked to stop him , and maybe try to understand what was happening to him , a worried elf was not something I intended to trigger , but I did .

I was trying to control this , it's not that easy . I don't want to die , I want to live , _but since when do we get to choose that ?_ my thoughts were heading to a place I did not want to visit so , I straightened the front of my dress with my hands before I went to dinner .

He was not there , maybe it's for the best , I got too attached to him in the last few months , and I knew it was wrong , I still remember the way he looked at me in Valinor , it disarmed me . I thought this crush was going to fade when I realized how absurd was the idea of such a creature to look at me in that way , but clearly I was hoping … _for what exactly ?_ .

I put a smile on my face as soon as I entered the dining hall , and I sat in my usual seat next to Vanya ; I tried to think of something happy so that my smile wouldn't look as fake as it felt .

" I was going to see why you were late , but lord Glorfindel told me that he was on his way to see you "

" I fell asleep , I think I was tired , but I'm well now "

" you do not look well " it seemed unfair that I keep failing , but I didn't feel disproportionately aggrieved till now . _Could these be the tones of a querulous child ? ._

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thank you for reading and have a good day .

P.S : there is no Elvish in this chapter because adding it would have taken a lot of time , I was planning to use it in the beginning till my character could speak it , if you want me to use it , it's ok I can add it later . ;D


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